BDSM? Whips, Collars, Cages, Oh my!

I get this question a lot: "What is BDSM?" and it is always accompanied by variations of the same emotions across a wide spectrum of people- dismay, shock, bewilderment, confusion, misunderstanding, disgust, and morbid curiosity. So let me go on record and explain a few things for those that are so hooked up into the super information highway that you get nothing but the comercialized and sensationalized version of BDSM and it's meaning.

The compound acronym, BDSM, is derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&s, D/s, or Ds), sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM). It is characterized by two partners or people taking opposite and unequal roles. The slave or submissive gives up power while the Dominant/Master/Mistress takes control and is in control of the scene. Do not get it confused with the submissive having absolutely no rights and completely helpless. Lifestylers (those that follow the BDSM lifestyle) follow a set of rules and norms such as RACK or SSC. They are always aware of their limits and the safety of their partners. The submissive receives a safe word they can use and most Dominants and submissives take the time to discuss their likes, dislikes, limits, and whatnot before getting involved. They are extremely careful.

Now to say this: No I do not worship the devil and yes I'm a Christian and believe in God. [Shakes her head in disbelief] Just because I enjoy seeing my man kneel at my feet, wearing my collar and seeing my ownership on his body while I whip him or order him to my satisfaction does not have any reflection on my belief system or my soul. The minute I told my mother about this she claimed I needed to worry about my soul. For those that have been in the lifestyle or practice it to some regularity then you are as bewildered and saddened by these misconceptions as I am.

Now one of the hugest misconceptions is that the Dominant is being cruel and torturing the poor submissive. You're damn straight we're making those pathetic little fucks suffer under our boot heel and I can assure you that they are loving every humiliation filled second of it, those dirty little sluts. If they didn't like it they would say "no" and leave the scene. They're not as weak as one would think. In fact submissives tend to be very successful in all other parts of their lives and driven to succeed. Do not give them your pity as they do not deserve it nor do they need it. I can assure you that they have fun and mine even beg me for every slash of my whip or debilitating, humiliating word that comes from my lips to bring them to the ground like the sad little nothings that they are.

Another misconception is that us Dominants are completely heartless and nothing but bossy bitches. I can assure you for all of you so called "dominants" that have not done your homework or done SOME studying on the lifestyle then you have no idea of the responsibility that comes along with being a dominant. I take it seriously since I see D/s (Dominant/Slave) relationship as any other relationship that requires the same things to survive and succeed- trust, honesty, loyalty, commitment, communication, openness and obedience. Some people would argue that last one but it's one of MY things that I need to make a great relationship. [laughs] I for one do not give one flying fuck what you may think of me. I'm a cold hearted, sadistic bitch with sociopathic tendencies and I am not ashamed of that fact. I'm also loyal, loving, nurturing, and sweet beyond measure. Basically I can carve your heart out of your chest while smiling down at you like an innocent school girl discussing candy and sugar plum faeries. You can hate me or love me. Either way, you WILL respect me- whether you like it or not.

Now there are all types of dominants that specialize in a wide variety of fetishes and fields. I tend to dabble because I just don't believe in discriminating and if it pleases me I'm going to do it as often as possible. You'll read below that I do have an interest in financial domination but let me make this clear that just because it's an interest doesn't mean I dominate all my slaves this way. I'm not a cookie cutter domme and I do not treat everyone the same. If the slave has a penchant for giving up his money and suffering tremendously for it- as is the price for my pleasure- then so be it, let the fun times roll! If they don't enjoy it or don't like it, oh well, I'll be sure to put a memo out to the rest of the world.

But as I was saying before I got off on this tangent. BDSM is something that is so much more than just sex and whips and chains. It's a hell of a lot more psychological than just plain sex ever could be. Knowing that a submissive could cum without ever being touched- Hmm....you decide. And I've decided that I won't restrict this blog to what I do just on second life or my thoughts on second life but on real life as well. It will be peppered with bits of my wisdom, thoughts and trivial opinions. Enjoy suckers. haha